How to Feel Confident When You Are In Over Your Head
By: Rachel Reva
Have you ever felt like you were ‘in over your head’?
Maybe a job has become incredibly demanding. Or a course you were excited about has all of us sudden become ‘too much’. Maybe a relationship has turned.
Or a client has asked something which you don’t feel equipped to deliver. Or a family drama has come out of nowhere.
I have been there – MANY times.
It seems whenever my next season of ‘up-level’ comes along, it is usually accompanied by this internal dialogue: “I don’t think I can do this”, or “Why did I agree to take this on?”
This unhelpful ‘dialogue’ is my brain trying to keep me comfortable and safe.
I heard this when I went for my first TV job. When I landed my first big promotion. When I started my coaching business. When I pitched myself as a complete unknown to The Huffington Post.
Breakthrough is Not Comfortable
But here’s the thing – comfort and breakthrough do not go hand in hand.
It’s in times of discomfort, awkwardness, where you have to humble yourself, maybe even ask for support or admit you can’t do it by yourself – that is when the growth really happens.
Your next level is on the other side of you thinking, “How the heck can I do this?”
People think that confidence is a knowing in your ability to do something. WRONG.
Confidence is you believing in your ability to figure it out, to manage it, and work until you have found a way around or through. Confidence is continuing to move forward even when it feels like you are travelling in mud.
As long as you keep moving forward – you’ll end up where you need to be.
As the author Marie Forleo says, ‘Everything is figureoutable’.
And it’s only when our backs are literally against the wall that we see how capable we are of fighting back, of standing up and making things happen that we never thought possible.
Obstacles Prepare You for Victory
When people quit, it’s because they have lost that confidence – in themselves, in their dream, in the God that called them to step out in the first place.
Wherever you are at right now, even if it doesn’t make sense – be confident that you can handle it and that you are placed there for a reason –it’s strategic, not incidental that you are up against an obstacle. That obstacle is preparing you for a victory on the other side.
Tips to Help With Confidence
When your confidence feels shaky, here’s some tips that can help:
Daily affirmations and scripture: I have them on my desk, on my phone wallpaper, on my fridge – everywhere I go – I have words and images that encourage me on a daily basis. What we meditate on, becomes our future. One of my favorite quotes is: ‘With self-discipline, anything is possible’ (Theodore Roosevelt).
Rock it out: I’m a fan of high vibe music, truth bombs and encouragement. Some of my favourite music to get myself in ‘the zone’ includes hits by Beyonce, Katy Perry, and even 80s hits like Eye of the Tiger.
Give up: This is a big one. I know what I can do in my own strength (and I do it) but after that, I give it up and over to the Creator who makes miracles happen. My biggest confidence is not in my ability – it’s in WHO made me and knowing that while I do my part, God does the rest. It’s about giving up to receive! I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I am bad at doing this, because I like being in control, but once I give that up, that is where ease comes back in my life.
So there you have it.
It’s no mistake or accident if you are feeling uncomfortable right now in your circumstances. Be confident in who you are, your ability (and that of the miraculous) to deliver exactly what you need and when you need it. That’s confidence.
Now go rock it out and know: YOU’VE GOT THIS.
Article supplied with thanks to Rachel Reva at Life On Her Terms.
Feature image: Photo by Max Harlynking on Unsplash
About the author: Rachel Reva is a PR consultant and author with a career that has spanned TV, writing, radio and politics. Born in Georgia, USA, Rachel now lives in Australia with her young family, and is heard every week on radio.